I am a bit of a hermit, although not shy. I like to hear the bottom line and then fill in the details.
(Unlike my husband who drives me nuts because he never stops talking, I have foam earplugs and a nail file … I survive!)
I tell you this simply because I cannot imagine that people could find me all that interesting or want to listen to ‘all about me’. Writing about me is a challenge. I am far more interested in YOU! However, I know that in order to trust me a little, you need me to spill the beans.
So, I’m going to start in the middle and move forwards, if that’s enough you can stop there. If you want more, I’ll give you from the middle moving back here. (click this link)
Remember when the shit hit the fan in 2008 and it felt like the world was melting?
I think that happened just for me! lol
The final nail in the coffin of my out-of-alignment life.
I was approaching 50 and had been working with my husband for decades in one or other iterations of our ‘family’ business. It never fit me right to be there but it always felt like it was for the greatest good.
Along comes 2008, banks withdraw, customers cease and bankruptcy beckons. Deep joy and happiness all round. My husband was so stressed I felt like I was just waiting for him to die. He nearly did, ending up in hospital with 2 perforated stomach ulcers and a permanent heart condition.
Thus I was forced out of the life I knew. It was the proverbial 2×4 from the universe. “Will you bloody well listen now Jocelyne?!!!”
In honesty, It would have happened anyway before too long. I was so miserable.
Approaching that big birthday I felt dismal. Crying, depressed and mostly mourning my lost younger years and the unfulfilled potential I knew I had. I had been trained to be fearful of life and had pushed away anything that would have been fulfilling by focussing on my children’s welfare and my attachment to the greater good of our businesses. They were about to leave home and the businesses were about to crash and burn.
My choice was to seek medical help for depression or do something about it myself. I go to the doctors as a last result and didn’t want the usual prescription for Prozac, so I had to look else where.
I got physical – I often start there – getting into an all consuming yoga practice and walking my dogs for ages along the beach, crying it out.
I spent my last savings on some coaching, from an Ayurvedic astrologer and a Hand analyst (and shortly after a full blown training to be a Hand Analyst).
I found out what I had always felt, I was supposed to be a Spiritual teacher. The only thing was, I didn’t really understand what that was, didn’t think it was a practical solution to my current difficulties, and didn’t want to be laughed out of town! I am a down to earth practical type.
The nearest I could get to that was to renew all my yoga teaching certificates that I had got over 20 years earlier, and restart teaching yoga.
To a great degree, this worked out well. I got offered a lot of yoga teaching at a local spa and for the first time was making a wage out side of the family businesses – which by now did not exist. I was on the path to doing what I am meant to do, but it wasn’t quite enough.
So, Life coaching certification, energy healing, aromatherapy, crystals, tarot and card reading etc, continually learning and getting more certificates! The only thing was, I didn’t tell anyone about these. I was the best kept ‘spiritual’ secret. I was still hiding, scared and confused. Continually doubted myself, and feeling unsatisfied. Yearning and searching.
For more than 5 years I did marketing courses, nutrition courses, fancier yoga courses, followed advice from coaches and tried to find a way to be, do or have in a way that felt right. I wasted time and especially money trying to make myself fit into my skin. The most stupid thing is, I had my answers right at the beginning, five years before.
What was missing was realising that I needed help. I needed a river guide, a sherpa, a midwife to help me birth the vibrant, fulfilling second half life that I felt was possible.
I knew it should be mine but I didn’t know how to get it.
I was on my own, playing small. I got lost and allowed myself to shrink, even though I was on a better more aligned path than my previous one. ( My story is rife with what not to do!)
It was five long years before I found the right coach, the sherpa who took my hand and led me up that steep mountain path.
In a relatively short space of time, I got up that mountain, and began to see how to put my (metaphorical) ducks in a row!
When you have a mountain guide, they don’t do the work for you, but they do show you the skills you already possess to get up that mountain yourself.
They make the journey quicker and safer and stop you getting lost. They show you the richness of the experience you should be having without the distractions and pitfalls. They get you what you want, even when you resist because you are scared, doubt their wisdom or feel fearful of your choices.
In short, it’s quicker, safer and more enjoyable with a guide. Not to mention cost effect too!
I found a coach that showed me how to wear my skin so that it fits me right.
Now, I have the joy and pleasure of doing that for my tribe . I am beyond thrilled, into reverence, to be permitted to accompany my folk on that sacred journey into themselves.
When you get to the midpoint in life you have a choice., you can shrink to fit, play it safe, hoard what you have and not risk having more. You can stay in the no-mans-land of doubt, fear and confusion, feeling unsatisfied and living with regret or you can find a midwife to help you birth a vibrant second half of confidence, fulfilment and self-trust where you can express yourself, take risks and experience your gifts or even appreciate yourself for the very first time in your life. You could ignite a midlife rebellion and be who you really are, find your inner authority and have the life that fits you right.
Wouldn’t life feel better if it fit you like a glove; if you could joyfully know for sure who you are so you can step into your skin…finally?
I know it’s possible, because that is what I have now and I am more ‘me’ than I have ever been before… and I LOVE it.
I want you to have that too. (Click the link)
I would love to hear from you. ( and don’t forget, you can read the ‘beginning’ right HERE)
Have you been to my Facebook Page yet?